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Young Guns

8/10/05

Find at: Wal-Mart
Price: $7.50

Normally I'm not one to enjoy westerns. In fact, the closest I've come to watching one is Back to the Future 3. But, after seeing this movie featured on VH1's I Love the 80s, I figured I'd take it for a spin. Besides, I have a thing for Emilio Estevez and Charlie Sheen. Plus Kiefer Sutherland was quite enticing as a sophisto cowboy in contrast to the vampire he played in Lost Boys.

The plot is simple enough to follow. 6 young refugee bucks are hired as regulators on the ranch of a British entrepreneur, Tunstall. He cleans them up and tries to make them meaningful members of society. But Tunstall is swimming upstream in a river flooded by the corrupt activities of a man named Murphy. While at a New Year dance one of the boys falls in love with a China girl procured by Murphy as a personal doll. On the way home from the festivities there's an ambush and Tunstall is murdered by Murphy's men.

Being that Murphy had bribed or blackmailed all local authority, the 6 boys are deputized and take the revenge of their caretaker's passing into their own hands. Most of the middle chunk of the movie is them shouting "REGULATORS!!!" and running around killing men. Poor Charlie Sheen is one of the first to die, but he got the last laugh by landing a swank role in Scary Movie 3. That and he didn't have the shame of being in 3 Mighty Ducks movies. Maybe if Estevez had the regulators form the Flying V he wouldn't of lost so many men.

After all their killing sprees they get un-deputizes and are wanted by sheriffs and bounty hunters. To find out which way to head they go on a mystical Indian voyage care of our good friend Mr. Peyote. This was the greatest scene in the movie because it was in slow motion and they made the voices sound all deep while the guys toddled around like jackasses. They take the only direction left, straight towards Murphy. Kiefer even broke into Murphy's house to play with his little China Doll.

Eventually they get tricked, ambushed, and surrounded in a house. For a few seconds, this place was armageddon. THERE WAS A FIREFIGHT!!!

Oh. Wait, shit. Wrong movie. This one ends like this...

 

mystie@crowncombo.com

 

 

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